It is already 5 days since i came back from the ocip trip, and i'm still having a hangover. I feel so antisocial and i just wish time could standstill when i was in changjiao and stay like that with the kids forever. Of course, reality is always never like that. I miss everything that happened over there, all the memories... it can never be erased away. I wish i could snap out of this state soon cos it's not doing myself any good.



I can picture your reflection against the glass pane, it's so hard to erase away. I wish i could forget all the small little things that happened, but i cant.

This is a tribute to Mr Kakare, Anti-terrorist squad chief (Mumbai):

He was one of the best officers they ever had. Honest, level-headed and devoted to duty. He would attend community meetings to listen to the grievances of the Muslim community. At such meetings, he would often exhort the youth to study hard and get good jobs. A top cop who honoured duty above all, who dug deep to get the truth behind the crimes. He never flinched from his duty, till his very last breath. I respect him for such courage and desire to serve, heroes like that will live in our hearts forever.

Keep Holding On
You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side
You know I'll take your hand

When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in

Keep holdin' on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just, stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you

There's nothing you can say (Nothin' you can say)
Nothing you can do (Nothin' you can do)
There's no other way when it comes to the truth

So, keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late
This could all disappear

Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side
I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend, Yeah yeah

Keep holdin' on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just, stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you

There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

Hear me when I say
When I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change
Nothing's gonna change destiny

Whatever's meant to be
Will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah..

La da da da, la da da da da
La da da da da da da da da

Keep holdin' on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you

There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

Ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh
Keep holdin' on
Ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh

Keep holdin' on
There's nothing you could say
Nohing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

HO XINYI IS 52 YEARS OLD!!!!

IF SHE DELETES THIS, TOMORROW SHE WILL TURN 52 YEARS OLD!!! without a doubt....

hoxy likes to talk to herself, like how she is talking to herself here now!

hoxy has weird taste in music, she don't like those rocky rocky kind!!! that's why i say she's those kind of unhip 52-year-old ahma...

hoxy loves to eat and eat and eat, especially fried oyster!!! she ate so many in a row!!!

hoxy is imba at table tennis, badminton and snorting, even burping i might add!

acting cute also is one of her forte, that's why a dog called simba but in fact is a lion, he loves her very much when she calls for him, "sim simmmmmm *mwah*"

how can such a talented piece of mama chickenaden be living in the world of ducks...

she should be flying off to the land of chicken wings now where she can bask in the sunlight playing grade 8 piano!!!

this is what happens when hoxy becomes a mega farting machine!!! but cannot beat simba, he is teh l33t!!!

wah, ho xinyi rocks fong's chicken socks off, rocks sheila's leg warmers off, rocks rocks rocks!!!!

i know hoxy loves me!
don't worry i love me too!!!

hoxy will turn into a penguin tmr, must come to the airport to send her off to antartica ah!

P.S. this pen has no cap

MY OCIP TRIP (OCIP NANJING, FUJIAN)

1st Day, Wednesday, 12 Nov 2008
There was nothing much that we did today. We just went to the supermart and bought a lot of stationery and sports equipment. It was about three hours plus drive from Xiamen to Changjiao primary and on the way, we camwhored. haha, that was the first time i saw Changjiao primary, at that time, i never thought that it would have made such a big difference to my life.



a picture of the outside view when i was in the plane


Changjiao Primary

Day 2, Thursday, 13 Nov 2008
Today was the first day we really got to know some of the kids. They asked us to play their rope games, which i must say is very refreshing and a totally new experience for me. I also played basketball and tabletennis with the guys and got to them better. They had never seen Singaporeans before so everybody was crowding around me, sheila, tag and libo like we were starsO_o Honestly i was overwhelmed by their overenthusiasm but i felt very honoured. Today was mainly preparation, nothing much we did. We went around the school today. It was really cosy and all, and their school was really small. All 6 levels had only one class except primary 4, which had two classes. Everywhere we walked, the kids would greet us as laoshi, and by the end of the day, a lot of them had already known our names, i felt really warmed by their hospitality and was already warming up to some of the kids:D



Day 3, Friday, 14 November 2008
Today was mainly preparation too, me and sheila managed to find some time to walk out of the school to some beautiful river. We almost wanted to cross the river by walking on the stones. but knowing how clumsy we were, there was a 90% chance that we could slip and fall into the river and never come back, so we decided against doing that. HAHA._. Today, the rest of the people came in the evening. Weisheng missed the plane because of some visa issue, so we prayed to God that he could come and thank God that he managed to come, because he would have missed something special otherwise.

Day 4, Saturday, 15 November
We went sightseeing today, to see all the tulous. It's really amazing how so many people could live together under one roof with wooden beds in a round clay structure. Some of the kids went with us to see these tulous, some of which were their houses. I really wonder how it feels like to live in a tulou. It's really a vast difference from our living standards in Singapore, i must say, this was really a cultural experience for all of us. We went to tulou after tulou, and the kids kept asking me where i was going next. Honestly speaking, i can't remember the names of the different tulous for nuts, so whenever i was asked that i pretended that i didnt hear, which made me feel rather bad. Although i must say they all looked around the same, i agree that each tulou had a story to tell, so i did not think that it was a waste of time to go through all the tulous._. By the fourth day,i was getting quite sick of eating rice and vegetables (although their food was very good), and i was longing for mee pok:/ i guess i just had to get used to their eating habits over there. on a random note, coordinating and encouraging the participants to put in effort for the farewell party was very tiring and kinda made me feel very uncomfortable. I know it is very normal that people would get very sian and du3lan3 all the songs and dances, to such an extent that they wanted to pon the dance session, i know that cos i felt that way before. But being in the shoes of the coordinator, i finally felt how terrible it must have felt to coordinate such activities. It made me think a lot, on whether i was suited to be a leader in the first place, on how i could command their respect such that they would listen to me. But i guess this is really a learning experience, nobody was born to be a leader anw, except maybe people like maozedong or what. but whatever, i think i learnt a lot from this experience, no matter how terrible i felt, or how easily i cried, i'll grow a stronger person out of it._. haha

Day 5, Sunday, 16 November 2008
Today we went to some waterfall thing and we climbed up a hill. oh yeah! i had a ride on the principal's motorcycle (my first and probably last motorcycle ride in my life), it was so COOL!:D oh and then we walked up a few hundred flights of steps just to see the top view of all the tulous, fong was complaining like mad! haha>< although i was almost dying from the climb upwards.

Day 6, Monday, 17 November 2008 (First day at work)
Building a bicycle shelter got kinda tiring and ambiguous. I hit myself a total of 6 times with the hoe:/ made me feel like a clumsy oaf, especially the part when i hit myself in order to dodge qiaoyue, zomg i felt so stupid O.o But work was really fun, especially goofing around with friends. i was starting to LOVE the kids with every minute, especially those who were always around me and every break they would find me. Without me even knowing it, i was creating a special bond between me and them. The kids over there were always enthusiastic about learning every sport, even frisbee which i was in! They were seriously adorable and they would keep begging for your attention to teach them the basics. Ti3 cao1 was quite successful because once again, the kids were all so enthusiastic about it. They even corrected me when i did some move wrongly. Even the p6 guys did the exercise, which was kinda surprising. Night reflection didnt go too well though. People felt that there was something wrong with the way construction went, and i must say i would have felt horrible too if someone were to say i was slacking when all i needed was a break. i could see that the organiser wasnt feeling very good about the dispute. Although i really wanted to go over after the reflection to ask him how he was, i'm sure there would be closer friends to be there for him, so i just went off after that.

Day 7, Tuesday, 18 November 2008
In the morning, we went on to hack on the grass in the field to make a visible track for running. It was really tiring, but i think that's cos i really hacked like mad, then me and zhenrui were competing who hacked faster._. It really took away a lot of my energy, but i must say, i enjoyed it a lotO.o my first time working at such a high speed. In the afternoon, it was my first time teaching english._. It was a NEW experience, but our job was rather easy cos they were all very ATTENTIVE and well-behaved. You just have to threaten to minus their group marks and they'll all keep quiet. We taught them manners and i think colours today (but it got a little on my nerve when they kept pronouncing manners as manner-si) Again, frisbee was very fun. I really enjoyed my time with the kids especiall xiaohong and her sister. Today's reflection was a little special cos mrs tan made us do this activity where we were to observe certain people and write good comments about them. It was really funny how we all got people we knew or hanged out with. Tag got libo, i got liang, liang got sheila, sheila got qiaoyue, jiawei got me etc. It was rather amusing. I must say i'm very blessed that i got to write about liang, cos i dont know, i guess i'm just blessed. haha:D

Day 8, Wednesday, 19 November 2008
Today, i didnt hack with that much intensity already, the day before's high-intensity hacking really whacked me out. Today was a little more slack for me though. But as usual, i enjoyed the english lesson a lot, cos they kids really had the desire to learn which made everything so much easier, although i had to project myself quite a lot because they were very loud._. i felt that i was falling sick, because it suddenly turned very cold and stuff. preparation for farewell party got a little more tough,because everybody was very very sian of the dances and songs already, and when they give the very bored look and sit down, i needed to do some pushing before they would sing.

Day 9, Thursday, 20 November 2008
Today was the last day that we were doing the hacking of the grass on the fields , the whole track was almost done, i really felt a sense of accomplishment when i saw a bare track, it really felt that i made a difference to the lives of the kids. before that i was so worried that there were a lot of rocks that the kids, who usually go barefooted, might get cut by, but after seeing all the participants putting in their best effort to grab out every single rock that was sticking out, my heart felt very warmed and fuzzy, it was really encouraging to see them all enthusiastic about this. By now, most of the kids already knew that we were leaving the next day. xiaohong cried during the frisbee session and she asked me whether i could stay on forever. I felt very sad, because a lot of kids really wanted us to stay.




Day 10, Friday, 21 November 2008
Last day at Changjiao primary. Honestly speaking, i'll miss it a lor. During the sharing session, i said that i had no comments, but actually i was thinking of so many things that i didnt know what to say, which was exactly what sheila did too. I'm not exactly the type to express my feelings outright to a large audience. After that, i went out to walk alone and started crying by myself. I walked through the fields, to the classrooms, to the stage and the football fields...i'll miss everything that happened Changjiao, all the lives that we've touched and all the kids whom have touched our lives. I'll miss the HOEO.o Whenever i close my eyes, i keep seeing images of xiaohong and xiaoyan. I see their eyes brimming with tears and i cried even more. The kids really impacted me a lot- their innocence, their boundless energy and immeasurable love that they have provided us with. This is the first time i've ever felt such a close and indescribable bond with some of the kids. I know i hv no one to blame when i get so emotionally attached. I guess i have to learn not to emotionally involve myself so much to prevent such an amount of sorrow when we leave.Scenes of them chasing me around and shouting my name, holding my hand and smiling, giving me all sorts of things, even fishes, keep flooding my head, i cannot help but miss their chatter. On a random note, farewell party's finally over, i'm so glad it went smoothly and the kids really love the dressing up game, even the participants (especially the guys) were loving it when xiaoqiao dressed up (pictures come later)They were practically oogling all over her! LOL._. the judges HAD to give her a prize because of how cute she was,in the end she got 2nd. HAHA. when xinyang knew he won the best dressed, he ripped apart his "newspaper" costume and cried aloud, it was HILARIOUS!:D haha><














Day 11, Saturday, 22 November 2008
This day was the most horrible day of all cos we were really leaving Changjiao primary. The p4 kids kept holding on and refused to let go, they were all crying and i had to stay strong so a forced a smile and said i would write letters to them.But at the very last moment, i couldnt force back my tears and i cried along with everybody. It was unavoidable, and difficult to control our emotions, because reality really hit us hard that we were really leaving the kids, no more chatter, no more chasing ard, no more english lessons. I really really longed for a chance to go back and teach them again. During the bus trip, everybody was quiet. They were either red-eyed or asleep. It got so hot and stuffy in the bus that i started hyperventilating and felt like vomitting. The bus stopped soon after and a stumbled out. I felt really horrible. I couldnt breathe, i felt cold and hot and the feeling was just horrible. Consequently, i vomitted in the car. After this incident, we went to the Hot springs. It was a whole new experience for me cos they had a lot of hot springs like curry flavoured, lemon bath, coffee bath, milk bath and all sorts of flavours! it was quite sad that we didnt have a lot of time to try all the different baths











Day 12, Sunday, 23 November 2008
Today we visited this island called gu lang yu where actually i dont really know what was so special about it, but i enjoyed it all the same. They had a lot of old buildings though. So i had fun taking lots of pictures. OH and doing RETARDED poses with jiawei. HAHA>< we got scammed by this roadside seller though, and it was quite pissifying though a good lesson learnt. This guy was sitting down on a white mat selling a small toy that could move to sounds (or so we thought). when we asked the toy to jump, it jumped. when we asked it to sit, it sat. When we asked it to somersault, it somesaulted. We thought 5 yuan for 2 was too good a deal and before we knew it, we had bought the whole stall (about ten toys). Soon after, the guy disappeared and when we tried the toy out, it didnt work at all._. After that mr heng told us he saw the guy putting his hand in between his legs and it was moving. I looked at the toy again and realised there were 2 transparent strings attached to it. Hai.. i felt so stupid after getting scammed. Gosh, i didnt know whether to laugh or be angry>< After that, we didnt want to go to see the temple so we had a few hours to shop. i got very good deals there, converse shoes for $15.30,a bag for $9, it was super cheap! HAHA after that we went to see this cannon museum and also xiamen university, but throughout the walk, we were discussing about what happened the night before. On how me and sheila walked into tag and libo's room to close their door and offed their lights when they were sleeping when they claimed they had locked the door before they slept. I was honestly very freaked out, especially when we went in at about 12 am. I really didnt want to think about that issue anymore. especially since after we helped them, we locked ourselves out of our own room, hilarious. haha._.








Day 13, Monday, 24 November 2008
Nothing much for today, just going to the airport and flying back. This trip really changed me quite a lot, and how i perceive the whole world. I've become more appreciative of whatever that i had around me, i must say i'm still learning, but i wish i could learn to be like the kids, give more love, less hate, appreciate and enjoy everything that i have and the blessings i already have. I must say no matter how cliche it is, this trip is rather life-changing experience for me, i'll never forget the kids' smiles.

i find it really hard to talk to my parents. sometimes, i dont really know who's the one starting a fighting match. Almost all the time they open their mouth, they start nagging, either about my studies or about current affairs. And when sometimes i dont agree, they start getting worked up and angry and give that very irritated face. i cant stand it so much that i start shouting and they would scold me even more. Sometimes i wish i could escape away from their clutches and the demands of everybody for awhile.sometimes i wish they could just talk nicely. it takes two hands to clap, and they're always ganging up against me. I feel so tired of their demands and expectations. maybe this ocip trip will give me a break from all their expectations. i've only one thing on my mind right now: to give my best for the kids over there in nanjing:)
that's all i will concentrate on for now.

its just one more day to OP, i really hope i can do well. But currently, i realised i have very bad presentation skills, the things that pow said are exactly the things that my parents said. it's getting scary and my family has been really accomodating, practising with me till midnight.
but there's still the powerpoint clicking coordination which i'm quite scared of. I really need the powerpoint as my cue card, if not i think i'll just blank out. oh man, i'm ranting again. okay i shall stop here and go back to my script><